Saturday, March 21, 2015

Mommy Confessions

If you are looking for a positive spin on motherhood, you might want to stop reading right now. This post is for the mom who might have hid in the bathroom earlier today so she didn't have to share HER snack. This post is for the mom who quietly whispered "f$%^" as she heard her kid waking up at 5:30 am in the morning to start the day for the third time this week.

In general, I pride myself in attempting to be a pretty positive person; I write blog posts like this one on positivity and this one on turning mommy guilt into mommy mantras. I try to extend this attitude to my parenting as well. For the most part, I think I do a pretty decent job of being a happy mom. But, dangit, some days are just hard. Some days, you feel isolated, alone, and stressed to the max. Some days, you would welcome an overnight stay at the closest looney bin because you wonder if you  really are crazy (plus it would be a night of interrupted and possibly medicated sleep- yessss!).

Good news, mamas. You are not alone. Far from alone, actually. I asked literally hundreds of mamas for their dirty secrets, their mommy confessions. Not only for this blog post, but so I could sprinkle my own mommy confessions through out here and still stay anonymous. Guess what? I got moms I knew writing me emails. I got moms I didn't know writing me Facebook messages. These mommy confessions that we are in large part, as loving and caring mommies, sad and ashamed to admit.

Shh. Your secrets are safe with me. I would like to sincerely thank each and every mom whose own feelings resonated enough with mine to share with me their mommy confessions. This is not a place for judgment. This is the "post secret" for mommies. Mommies who love their kids just like the next mommy does, mommies who love their husbands all the same. Mommies who really are just like you and me.

Mommy Confession #1: I work with kids with behavioral problems. Sometimes I'd rather be at work with other people's children than at home with my own. 

Mommy Confession #2: Last week I was wishing to be deaf for a few hours.

Mommy Confession #3: I can't seem to be able to enjoy any of my time with my child, and I don't even want to be around him most of the time because he annoys me a lot and exhausts me.

Mommy Confession #4: My kid watches LOTS of PBS because I get annoyed/tired of playing, and he is quiet while watching. 

Mommy Confession #5: Even though I tell people I'm not judgmental, there are friends who have become moms who I don't like hanging out with anymore because of their parenting or their kids.

Mommy Confession #6: People always ask if I miss adult interaction.... Really what I miss is being left alone for more than 2 minutes. No one at work ever was that needy. 

Mommy Confession #7: I usually don't put on clean yoga pants until hubby is about to get home from work because it's just not worth it with a 19 month old, and the same goes for tidying up!!

Mommy Confession #8: My husband thinks staying at home is easy and fun. I get no credit and no slack.

Mommy Confession #9: Right now my dream vacation is not one which includes my husband, family or friends. Right now my dream is to stay at a hotel with a huge pillowy bed and thick curtains and sleep for days, uninterrupted and completely ALONE!!

Mommy Confession #10: If childcare expenses for 2 weren't an issue, I honestly would still be working.

Mommy Confession #11: Sometimes I wonder if having children is going to ruin my marriage. 

Mommy Confession #12: I ran out the house when maternity leave was over like my ass was on fire.

Mommy Confession #13: I constantly feel alone like a single mom because all of the responsibility of raising my daughter is only on me because my husband is NEVER home.

Mommy Confession #14: At a "normal" job, you do a project, it's done and you get paid for it. Staying home...nothing is ever really done. You can clean your entire house top to bottom on Monday and have to redo half of it on Tuesday. And you definitely don't get paid.

Mommy Confession #15: Motherhood is SO HARD. Without a support system of other moms, I would be more of a mess than I am.

Mommy Confession #16: My son woke me up by handing me a pair of underwear and then just saying, "mom, diarrhea." And then he walked away. That's not a good way to start the day.

Mommy Confession #17: My husband has recently informed me that "I never clean" even though that is all I EVER do. Clean, cook, kids. Over and over. Not to mention cleaning up after him, since he is basically just as messy as my freaking toddler (worse sometimes!). 

Mommy Confession #18: I'm looking for a boarding school for my dog until I'm done with the nap years. I only really want him around weekends and holidays.

Mommy Confession #19: I'm just happy to make it through the day sometimes.. 

Mommy Confession #20: I feel like a slave to my husband, my kids, and my pets. 

Mommy Confession #21: There are days that I take a day off from work but take my kid to daycare anyway just so I can have a break from everything. 

Mommy Confession #22: Wine or beer by 3 or 4pm is a saving grace some days.

Mommy Confession #23: The other day I told my kid (from a room away in a whisper) to "shut the f%^& up" because I was so sick of listening to him complain. 

Mommy Confession #24: I feel bad for our dog who has put on quite a bit of weight being so inactive since the baby was born.

Mommy Confession #25: Some days I HATE my life, other days I love it.

Mommy Confession #26: Some of my mommy friends talk about how they are so sad their babies are growing up... meanwhile, I'm kind of looking forward to my kids being able to take care of themselves and pitch in with some housework. 

Mommy Confession #27: I yell more than I want to admit, I cry when they are crying .. Might as well join them and eat more than I should just to comfort myself some days.

Mommy Confession #28: I feel bad because when my husband gets home and our son does something cute, he tries to get me to see but all I can think is, "leave me alone, I saw that 10 times today"  

Mommy Confession #29: As soon as my husband gets home, the kids go straight to him, and I'm so thankful. I'll let him take off his shoes and coat, then I'm out. 

Mommy Confession #30: Sometimes I tell my husband that I'm gonna go work out at the gym (with my gym bag and shoes and everything) so to please watch our kid... but I just go to Starbucks to relax and use the free wifi

Mommy Confession #31: I take walks with my headphones in and music UP so I can't hear whining from the stroller.  

Obviously, it's not always rainbows and sunshine when you are a momma... or hell, an ADULT for that matter. It's life! It doesn't mean we don't love being moms, or wives, or whatever. It just means that sometimes it is hard, and that's ok! 

I'd like to again thank all the mommas who gave their honest input for this post! I hope others find solace in your honesty! 

Hugs to all mommas out there doing their best.

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