Skip to main content

How Not to Raise an Asshole

Guys, you know how I am. I tell it like I see it. And these days, I see a LOT of two things: asshole adults and asshole kids who will grow up to be asshole adults.

Not raising an asshole requires work, so if you aren't interested in some blood, sweat and tears, then close your browser, and don't forget to write a rude comment on your way out.

Let me preface this by saying: these suggestions are being made from my professional side, not my parenting side--- let's be real, the verdict is still out on whether my kids will grow up to be assholes or not (just kidding... over my dead body will they be entitled, dependent adults)... but still, the important distinction of point-of-view needs to be mentioned.



Here are some ways not to raise an asshole:

1) Teach them how to do stuff. You know how kids don't come with an instruction manual? Well, neither does growing up. Kids learn from example how to do almost everything - show them how to do things! Don't just do everything for them because they don't know how to do it yet. And start early on this. Things like picking up toys and putting them where they belong, putting dirty clothes in the laundry, putting plates in the sink, cleaning up messes on the floor, putting things in the trash can be done by 1 yr olds. You can't expect them to do things for themselves if you don't teach them how to do it, and have them "practice" daily.

2) Turn off the DAMN TV. I'm not saying never turn the TV on, but for Heaven's sake, don't leave the Disney channel on all day. Your kid will not want to do anything but melt in front of the television screen. Not only is this straight up bad for development, it completely hinders a child's imagination and creativity. Too much technology promotes laziness, hurts social development, and sets the tone of constant entertainment. Turn off the TV, and pull out puzzles and books... or go outside and play.

3) Do not ever let them forget who is in charge. This sounds so imperious, but for real, kids need to know their place in the pecking order. This goes farther than kids respecting their parents; kids need to be taught from the beginning to respect other people of authority like police officers, teachers, etc. Some parents, in an effort to be loving and kind to their children, mistake their role of "parent" with being a "friend."

4) Raise your expectations of what they can do. In large part, we as parents (all of us, including me) are still stuck in the last development phase our kid was in. Before you know it, you are doing things for your teenager that they should most definitely be able to do for themselves. If you think that your child is "too young to do that," or developmentally can't do that, you fake it 'til you make it.. i.e. "help" them do it... or at least start introducing the skill.

5) Pay attention to them. The days where I am the busiest with other things are usually the days where my kids act the worst. In their natural state, kids are assholes. So if you aren't paying attention to them, they will likely revert to their most natural state. Also, if you aren't paying attention, you are likely missing out on some valuable teaching opportunities...

6) Practice what you preach. This one is a hard one for parents to swallow sometimes because it's hard! But we must remember that in large part, our kids' behavior is a reflection of the behavior they see around them - and that includes you. So, say your pleases and thank yous, and don't think that just because you are in a higher place of authority than your children that you cannot show them what respect looks and feels like. Respecting your child looks a little different though - it may mean that you acknowledge their feelings on something upsetting, or show them a little grace when they've made a mistake.

7) Help develop their interests and skills. Arm your child with activities and resources that encourage imagination and creativity! Take them places, read them books (LOTS of them), encourage them to go outside and play. Give them arts and crafts to do. Show them how to take pride in their work!

8) Communicate your expectations of them. You need to set the rules and communicate them to everyone. An example of an easy to understand rule is no snacks after 9 pm or only one hour of technology a day. The expectation is clear. Create rules that are clear and easy to enforce. Stay away from "never" or "always" because there are always exceptions. If you have a busy schedule or feel like, as a family, it's hard to create rules you can stick to, make general rules. But HAVE RULES.

9) Reward good behavior, but not expected behavior. Exceptionally good behavior can be rewarded, after all, that is how adults are treated in the real world job setting. But expected behavior should, at most, earn acknowledgement in the form of a "thank you for cleaning up all those toys" or "good job on your homework tonight." You don't see people giving lollipops to 8 year olds for going on the big boy potty, do you? Don't shell out prizes for things that your children should be doing anyway.

10) Stick to the rules. Sure, there may be exceptions to this, but the more exceptions you make, the harder it will be to enforce the rules and the more often your kids will be asking you for an exception to the rule. Then, you'll have to make that call, and defend your decision. Just stick to the rules.

11) Keep special things special. You don't get a cookie after every meal. You don't get to pick out something at the store just because. Everyday isn't going to be filled with fun activities from sun up to sun down. One of the problems I see time and time again is that through our own behavior as parents we are setting our kids up to expect too much. And before you know it, you have created an unrealistic expectation of how things are. You can even have them "work" for things that are special... like when your class got the most stars, at the end of the year you got a pizza party.

12) Teach them that behavior and words mean something. Teach them that what you say and what you do matter and have consequences. If you say you are going to do something (as a parent), then you need to do it. If you say you are sorry, MEAN it. If you say you aren't going to do something again, MEAN it. Words are just words if you don't have the actions to back things up.

Sure, there are tons of other ways not to raise an asshole. And you may do all of these things, and still have an asshole kid. Or you may not do any of things, and in fact, do the opposite, and your kid isn't an asshole. This is just my opinion - you can take it or leave it! But really, I am fearful of the effects of raising entitled, clueless children will have on our future. Can you imagine what the world will look like in 30 years? So, if you aren't already, start thinking of your sweet child as a little human who will, someday, be a member of society. I'm not saying rush kids through their childhood, but goodness gracious, equip your kids with foundational skills so at least they have a fighting chance in the scary world of our future.

Thanks for reading!


Comments

  1. Amen. This will be hard reading for the helicopter parent and other "modern method" parents but this is the right way to do it. It's the hardest way and the most time consuming way but try try try to do it, moms and dads.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. definitely not the easy way, but in my opinion the best way :)

      Delete
  2. Yes!!! This is all great advice. It takes work to do these things, but the return on the investment is great, and much easier in the long run.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes definitely! Investment is a great word for it. Thanks for reading Amber!! <3

      Delete
  3. I need to print this out and hang it on my wall!!!

    ReplyDelete
  4. I am here to give my testimony about Dr Ebhota who helped me.. i want to inform the public how i was cured from (HERPES SIMPLEX VIRUS) by salami, i visited different hospital but they gave me list of drugs like Famvir, Zovirax, and Valtrex which is very expensive to treat the symptoms and never cured me. I was browsing through the Internet searching for remedy on HERPES and i saw comment of people talking about how Dr Ehbota cured them. when i contacted him he gave me hope and send a Herbal medicine to me that i took for just 2 weeks and it seriously worked for me, my HERPES result came out negative. I am so happy as i am sharing this testimony. My advice to you all who thinks that there is no cure for herpes that is Not true just contact him and get cure from Dr Ebhota healing herbal cure of all kinds of sickness you may have like
    (1) CANCER,
    (2) DIABETES,
    (3) HIV&AIDS,
    (4) URINARY TRACT INFECTION,
    (5) CANCER,
    (6) IMPOTENCE,
    (7) BARENESS/INFERTILITY
    (8) DIARRHEA
    (9) ASTHMA
    (10)SIMPLEX HERPES AND GENITAL
    (11)COLD SORE
    HERPES. he also cure my friend from cervical cancer Email: drebhotasoultion@gmail.com or whatsapp him on +2348089535482

    ReplyDelete
  5. My health was horrible before I decided to try the Protocol Of taking Dr Ebhota herbal mixture. I felt there was no hope for my health and I was doubtful to try the Protocol thinking it wouldn’t work because I have visited so many hospital but same result. However, I was convinced by my friend to try the herbal medicine because I wanted to get rid of HPV/WART. The herbal mixture that was given to me was really quick and easy to take, and since I have be taking it for less than 3 days I have less outbreak. But within one week i was fully cured from WART/HPV. The herbal medicine really work and I will like to share this great herb doctor contact with you all email him drebhotasolution@gmail.com or whatsapp +2348089535482. Pls try and help yourself out of warts completely today. he also c My health was horrible before I decided to try the Protocol Of taking Dr Ebhota herbal mixture. I felt there was no hope for my health and I was doubtful to try the Protocol thinking it wouldn’t work because I have visited so many hospital but same result. However, I was convinced by my friend to try the herbal medicine because I wanted to get rid of HPV/WART. The herbal mixture that was given to me was really quick and easy to take, and since I have be taking it for less than 3 days I have less outbreak. But within one week i was fully cured from WART/HPV. The herbal medicine really work and I will like to share this great herb doctor contact with you all email him drebhotasolution@gmail.com o r whatsapp +2348089535482. Pls try and help yourself out of warts completely today. he ure DIABETIES ULCAL CANCER etc.He also told me that he has solution for the flowing.1 Cancer cure2 Diabetes cure3 Ringing ear4 Herpes cure5 Warts cure6 HPV cure7 Get your ex back8 Pregnancy herbal medicine9 Prostate enlargement10 Hepatitis B11 Disability12 Kidney problem Etc.

    ReplyDelete

  6. I am so Happy to be writing this article in here, i am here to explore blogs forum about the wonderful and most safe cure for HERPES SIMPLEX VIRUS.I was positive to the Virus called HERPES and i lost hope completely because i was rejected even by my closet friends. i searched online to know and inquire about cure for HERPES and i saw testimony about DR Ebhota online on how he cured so many persons from Herpes Disease so i decided to contact the great herbalist because i know that nature has the power to heal everything. i contacted him to know how he can help me and he told me never to worry that he will help me with the natural herbs from God! after 2 days of contacting him, he told me that the cure has been ready and he sent it to me via FEDEX or DHL and it got to me after 4 days! i used the medicine as he instructed me (MORNING and EVENING) and i was cured! its really like a dream but i'm so happy! that's the reason i decided to also add more comment of Him so that more people can be saved just like me! and if you need his help,contact his Email: (drebhotasoltion@gmail.com) You can contact him on WhatsApp +2348089535482 He also have the herb to cure difference cure for any sickness (1) HERPES,
    (2) DIABETES,
    (3) HIV&AIDS,
    (4) URINARY TRACT INFECTION,
    (5) HEPATITIS B,
    (6) IMPOTENCE,
    (7) BARENESS/INFERTILITY
    (8) DIARRHEA

    ReplyDelete
  7. Powerful Herbal treatment is 100% guarantee for HSV cure, the reason why most people are finding it difficult to cure HSV 1 or 2 is because they believe on medical report, drugs and medical treatments which is not helpful to cure HSV and hasn't proved any sign of helping. Natural roots/herbs are the best remedy which can easily eradicate herpes forever. I never believed it until I was helped and cured of my 16 months genital herpes with natural herbal medicines from Dr OBUDU. Where other medical prescribed drugs and treatments failed, Dr OBUDU natural herbs helped saved me from Genital herpes permanently and I’m so grateful for this. You can also get help from this great and powerful Herbalist Dr OBUDU by reaching him on WhatApp +2349023428871 OR EMAIL: drobuduherbalhome@gmail.com or visit his website https://drobuduherbalhome.wixsite.com/welcometoobuduherbal

    ReplyDelete
  8. All thanks to Dr Alli for curing my herpes virus/hpv with his herbal medicine, i do not have much to say but with all my life i will forever be grateful to him and God Almighty for using Dr Alli to reach me when i thought it was all over, today i am happy with my life again after the medical doctor have confirmed my HERPES SIMPLEX VIRUS / HPV of 5 is gone,i have never in my life believed that HERPES SIMPLEX VIRUS could be cured by herbal medicine. so i want to use this means to reach other persons who have this disease by testifying the power of Dr Alli that all hope is not lost yet, try and contact him by any means for any kind of disease with his email: ( Allispellhelp1@gmail.com ) or his whatsapp number +2348100772528 and get your healing

    ReplyDelete
  9. I was diagnosed as HEPATITIS B carrier in 2013 with fibrosis of the
    liver already present. I started on antiviral medications which
    reduced the viral load initially. After a couple of years the virus
    became resistant. I started on HEPATITIS B Herbal treatment from
    ULTIMATE LIFE CLINIC (www.ultimatelifeclinic.com) in March, 2020. Their
    treatment totally reversed the virus. I did another blood test after
    the 6 months long treatment and tested negative to the virus. Amazing
    treatment! This treatment is a breakthrough for all HBV carriers.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Hi, is a true life experience is not designed to convince you its a personal health experience, sometimes medical doctors take a different approach about herpes treatment. i has been stocked in bondage with herpes for two years and four months i has tried different means to eliminate this sickness because it surely has distract me even with the world, and i was told there is no cure, but only medicine for treatment all the possible ways i has tried was treatment, two months back i did some herpes research and i found amazing testimonies concerning natural herbal cure, and i go for it through the email address from the post just to give a try of herbal treatment, and i found it grate without delay i got cured with natural treatment from doc Twaha herbal cure his cure are powerful and shows out excellent result. and i think everyone suffering with herpes and others symptoms should also know about this cure from, drlregbeyen10000@gmail.com or WhatsApp him +2349038518881 thank you

    ReplyDelete
  11. I purchased herpes herbal medicine and received it within 7 days and used it as prescribed, I tested negative within 3 weeks use, do not loose hope to contact him early If you need help meet him on his email address drubarlohome@gmail.com or Whatsapp number +2348119508814

    ReplyDelete
  12. There is a great herbal man called Dr voodoo who can cure Hepatitis B virus and other deadly diseases with the use of natural herbs to cure Hepatitis B virus problems. He is from Africa and he is a great doctor and he can also cure you as well if you are have the problem And other deadly disease and here is email address voodoospelltemple66@gmail.com or Whatsapp +2348140120719 HERPES CURE,CANCER CURE,HIV/AIDS CURE,HPV CURE

    ReplyDelete
  13. I have been suffering from (HERPES) disease for the last four years and had constant pain, especially in my knees. During  the first year, I had faith in God that I would be healed someday.This disease started to circulate all over my body and I  have been taking treatment from my doctor, a few weeks ago I came on search on the internet if I could get any information  concerning the prevention of this disease, on my search I saw a testimony of someone who has been healed from (Hepatitis B  and Cancer) by this Man Dr. Silver and she also gave the email address of this man and advise we should contact him for  any sickness that he would be of help, so I wrote to Dr. Silver telling him about my (HERPES Virus) he told me not to  worry that I was going to be cured!! hmm i never believed it,, well after all the procedures and remedy given to me by  this man few weeks later I started experiencing changes all over me as the Dr. assured me that I have cured, after some  time i went to my doctor to confirmed if I have been finally healed behold it was TRUE, So friends my advice is if you  have such sickness or any other at all you can email Dr. Silver (drsilverhealingtemple@gmail.com) sir I am indeed grateful  for the help I will forever recommend you to my friends!!! with your lovely Email Address (drsilverhealingtemple@gmail.com or whatsapp on +2348123877102

    ReplyDelete
  14. Am really grateful and thankful for what Doctor Ehimare has done for me and my family. I Was having HERPES for good three years with no solution, the diseases almost took my life and because I was unable to work and I was also loosing lots of money for medication, but one faithful day when I went online, I met lots of testimonies about this great man so I decided to give it a try and to God be the glory he did it. he cured me of my diseases and am so happy and so pleased to Write about him today. if you need his help or you also want to get cured just the way I got mine, just him Doctor Ehimare  Whatsapp him ; +1 (267) 691-1087 or his email address drehimare3@gmail.com and get your healing. He has cure for other deadly diseases like Diabetes, Hiv/Aids, Hepatitis of all types and Cance

    ReplyDelete
  15. Life is always beautiful when you are in good health. For almost 4 years I have been with herpes and I was lonely and sad. Fortunately I turned to a good and great doctor. to help me get back to health. completely cured my herpes.Today I am herpes free and very healthy. Many thanks. Dr ubarlo For returning my health. I will always be grateful. Dr ubarlo If you are reading this testimong and you have some kind of illness.(1) hepatitis.(2)cancer.(3) HIV.(4)herpes.(5) fibroids.6) ) (7) Cancer diabetes, you can also contact him on his Email drubarlohome@gmail.com OR add on whatsapp +2348119508814

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

How to be a Housewife (Without Feeling Like a Slave)

Now, don't get the wrong idea here... I'm not sending a passive aggressive message out there to men (do men even read blogs?) that women hate doing house duties. We love it - right, ladies??? (wink, wink) And I'm not complaining either. (Although I do despise laundry, I love a clean house; so it's a double-edged sword.) One thing I'm BIG on is positive thinking . Sometimes, it is hard to be positive if you are feeling overwhelmed with dishes, laundry, cleaning, cooking... oh yeah... LIVING IN and maintaining a home. So, I thought sharing my thoughts on this topic could maybe help some disgruntled wifeys out there. 1) Don't hate, delegate - I'm a huge fan of starting young with manageable tasks around the home. There are a bunch of lists floating around the interwebs of chore lists for kiddos, and a lot of them are pretty dang silly (one suggests letting a 2-3 year old put dishes away, um no!)  -- but my favorite one is from Kids Activities Blog.  2) B

Maybe It's Just Easier To Be Lonely

As a busy, working and social mom of two young hellions, I am constantly teetering on the balance of completely and utterly (and not fabulously, might I add) losing my sh-word. Man, what a starter. What an intro! Hello, welcome to my blog. My name is Tara, and I’m completely crazy. I use the term “hot mess” way more than socially acceptable; in fact, there are times that I use the phrase, in reference to myself, and I can literally HEAR someone’s thoughts of annoyance in me. But, I digress. But, it’s true! I’m about one bad day away from flipping out hardcore. Part of it is my innate nature to be involved in *everything.* Combine that with my inherent disability to saying “no,” and it’s a recipe for… you guessed it… “hot-mess-ness.” Totally a word I made up and use… a lot. As I look at my planner (that I am obsessed with - who else have to have their lives written down somewhere or else they have NO IDEA what they are supposed to do that day?!), I realize…. “Dang, I am