Thursday, May 21, 2015

65 Inner Thoughts of the SAHM

 Only.... 3 wake ups last night, awesome!

Today is going to be a good day.

Baby still asleep? Sweet.

I'm going to go take a ......

DAMNIT. How does she always know when I am about to either eat, shower or go to sleep?

Ok, feed baby, then maybe she'll go back to sleep. Then I'll shower.... or go back to sleep.

Why won't she go back to sleep?!!!?!?!

GO TO SLEEP.

WHY is the bigger kid UP already?

What did moms do before video monitors...?

Yes, I am so on top of things.

Coffee pre-set to brew, toddler's drink already poured and in the refridgerator.

I got this.

Dog needs to go out, baby needs her reflux medication, Cat is out of water. Toddler wants juice.

THERE IS ONLY ONE ME.

No one has any freaking patience in this house.

Why is the baby crying??

She must hate me. I need to spend more one-on-one time with her.

The toddler is definitely misbehaving because she is seeking attention.

Ignore bad behavior, ignore bad behavior.

Maybe if I don't act lividly mad, she won't keep BEING BAD.

I so don't got this.

How is it only 8:30 am?

Do we have any champagne and/or orange juice in this house?

Shit, only vodka.

......... what's wrong with vodka?

People do this all the time. (raising multiple kids)

I can do this.

During nap I am totally working out.

What should I make the big kid for lunch? Something easy and healthy. Or chicken nuggets again.

The Lion King is the cutest movie ever.

I'm so tired, need more coffee, but then maybe I won't be able to nap later.

We need to get out of the house!

Too close to nap; if she sleeps in the car I will lose it.

Maybe after nap we will do something.

The Lion King is the most annoying movie ever.

Sure, I want to eat the leftover food my kid didn't eat for lunch.

PB & J - so good!

Yes, they are both napping! I am totally going to workout.

But I can't because I really should do laundry and unload dishwasher.

I'm tired, I think I'll take a nap too.

Just a short nap and then I'll wake up and do stuff.

SHIT. Why is she up already?

It's ok, I'll do the chores when hubby gets home.

SHIT, it is trash day?

How is it only Tuesday?

I can't wait until they aren't in diapers anymore. So. much. poop.

I didn't get to work out so I shouldn't eat this cookie.

Ok, kid snacked, baby fed, everyone is playing.

I got this.

Ugh, the witching hour is upon us.

EVERYONE IS CRYING. 

Nothing is going right today.

I haven't even started dinner, we have NO FOOD.

What can I make from what we have?

Spaghetti tuna bake, it is. Ugh, wait that sounds GROSS... or maybe it'll be good?

I can't do a damn thing in this house without one of them crying!

She just wants to play with me, I'm a horrible mom!!!

She is so precious and smart.

How is it already 5 pm?

I have done nothing today that I needed to do.

How am I ever supposed to get anything done?

Ok, everyone is fed, bathed and put to bed.

I got this!

Today was a good day.

____________________________

As a newly stay-at-home-mom to a very active toddler and a very high needs newborn, I have decided that in any given moment I could either be laughing or crying hysterically. It really is a Catch 22 which emotional state you might find me in.

In an effort to be therapeutic, I started documenting my inner thoughts. One thing about hanging out with 2 kids under the age of 2 is you don't really EVER have adult conversation unless, that is, you are talking to yourself. Which I may or may not do, including profanity, on a daily basis. I realized that my days have been extremely bipolar -- can any other mom or dad relate?!?

Granted I've only been home with two kids for about 6 weeks, but guys: it really is the hardest job I've ever had. You have no choice but to put everyone else's needs before your own, and guess what? These little toots need a lot! Don't get me wrong, it is rewarding, and I love taking care of my kids, but HOLY CANOLI can it be challenging!

Today is the first time the stars have actually aligned for me to blog in over a month. I plan to share with you some things I have learned lately, because my newborn is totally different than my other baby! So stay tuned! and Thanks for reading :)