Friday, March 6, 2015

I'm a Lazy Mom

In this day in age of mom-on-mom hate, every mom is type-casted.... labeled.... if you will. Well, moms, I'm a lazy mom. Yep. Lazy as can be. And I let my Lazy Mom Flag fly high. I'm makin' it rain with the lazy mom dolla bills.

I'm a lazy mom because my kid stays in her pjs, sometimes all day. But guess what? She is comfortable in them and able to move around her surroundings in the house without restriction. Plus she can't pull her socks off if she is in footie pjs (bonus). I do (usually) change her into actual clothes if we are leaving the house (and leaving the car, who am I kidding? if it's just a car ride, jammies can stay on!).

I'm a lazy mom because if my kid is arguing with another kid about a toy (she is 20 months), I sit back and let it play out. I'm not going to get involved in kid politics unless someone is going to get hurt. I want my daughter to be able to fend for herself and know that disagreements happen. Things aren't always going to go smoothly.

I'm a lazy mom because when my kid falls or trips, I don't rush to her aid. (Again, unless visible blood or danger) Not only would me doing so play into the dramatics, but I want my daughter to be able to be strong on her own.

I'm a lazy mom because I don't give my kid a bath every day. (Not knocking you if you do) But we live in the arctic north (Chicago... I'm dramatic), and I don't want her skin to dry up. Plus, barring any major catastrophes, she doesn't get THAT dirty. Nothing a wet brush and a baby wipe can't fix.

I'm a lazy mom because when we do have a bath night, I sit there and let her play in there forever (unless she hasn't pooped and there is a remote chance she might take that opportunity in the bathtub). We put cups in there and buckets. I let her make a hellacious mess and then we (she) cleans it up.

I'm a lazy mom because I have my kid clean up messes. Yep. If she throws her cup across the kitchen, she's going to get a towel and clean it up. She cleans up the table after she eats and cleans up her toys. But Shhh.... Don't tell her cleaning up is not fun, because she thinks it is a blast and a special big girl activity. 

I'm a lazy mom because I let my kid struggle to put a puzzle piece in or to pull something out of the cabinet. But I want her to learn to keep trying even when she is having a hard time and to problem solve. Mommy isn't going to always be there to help her fit the puzzle piece in the right way.

I'm a lazy mom because I don't make my kid specialty kid food items. Unless we are eating 5-alarm chili that will burn her tongue off, she gets to eat what we are eating. So lazy, I know! But because I am so lazy, I am not willing to add "short-order cook" to my resume.

I'm a lazy mom who doesn't play with my kid 24/7. That's right. I sit on the couch and watch "Fixer Uppers" on HGTV in the morning and encourage her to play independently while I drink my coffee. I do play with her a lot of the time too, so don't go judging. But not all the time.

I'm a lazy mom because when my daughter wakes up in the morning, I don't go running in to scoop her up. I need to shower first! She is far safer in her crib than she is unsupervised in my bathroom (girl loves my makeup, too) while I take the world's quickest shower. So, even if she has to wait, waiting she will do. Until she gets a big girl bed.... and then I'll have to revisit this plan. Yikes.

I'm a lazy mom because if my daughter wakes up in the middle night to partay, I don't go in there. Nope. I'm lazy AND I super value my sleep. Unless she is incredibly upset or illness is in question, I stay in my room, and she stays in hers. And because I do this (or maybe we are just temporarily lucky, until I publish this blog post and then karma will come bite me in the ass), she sleeps pretty dang well.

I'm a lazy mom and hypocritical too, because I will play/work on my iPhone half the day but am pretty adamant about her screen time. As in, she doesn't have any. Same goes for TV. She can watch TV if it is on, but it's going to be something on the Food Network or HGTV. Because over my dead body will my kid learn to be a brat from watching too much Calliou. Nu-uh. But maybe she can learn something valuable from Bobby Flay! 

I'm a lazy mom because we don't do many Pinterest projects. Although the snow ice cream looks delicious. Today, I let my daughter play in the huge box the poor UPS guy brought me with my Amazon subscribe-and-save stuff in it. She colored in it for at least an hour. I am inspired by Pinterest, do NOT get me wrong there, but maybe we just aren't to the age where it seems 100% applicable and worth it for me to do all of those things with my kid.

I'm a lazy mom because I try my hardest to get the chores and stuff done while my daughter is awake so I can nap when she does. Yep. I live for those naps, y'all, seriously. And it teaches my daughter about the stuff we do around the house. She has a little kid broom, and she helps me unload the utensils out of the dishwasher (after I've removed all the breakable stuff and knives). She picks stuff up and throws it away in the trash can. Why should she miss out on all the fun?!? (This isn't always easy, and sometimes, honestly, it just doesn't happen... who wants to fold laundry while your kid is begging and clawing at you to get up on the bed... so she can destroy your piles?)

Of course, I am writing all of this with sarcasm, encouragement and love. I proudly parent this way, as you should as well, even if you are doing things the absolute opposite as me. After all, there is nothing worse than a mom-hater, so I would be a big fat hypocrite to be a mom-hater to anyone who wasn't a lazy ass like me. *smile* I'm kidding. I'm kidding, but I'm not kidding, ya know??

Anyways, I hope if you are lazy too, you'll get a kick out of this post. If you aren't lazy, you should try it sometime.

How are you a lazy mom?



  1. Loved love omg love this! Lol! I'm Def a 'lazy' mom! I'm a mom of 5 and I do just about everything you mentioned :) I'm so glad I came across your post this morning, thank you!!

  2. Loved love omg love this! Lol! I'm Def a 'lazy' mom! I'm a mom of 5 and I do just about everything you mentioned :) I'm so glad I came across your post this morning, thank you!!

    1. I'm so glad you can relate! Lazy moms unite!!! :) thanks for reading!

  3. I'm not sure I could love you any more!! I do every single thing on this list too so #lazymomsunite!!!

    1. #lazymomsforever #cousinlove Xoxox glad I'm not alone!!

  4. i am so jealous (my kids r teenagers now!) and i wish somebody woulda told me this 15yrs ago, cuz now i'm paying for it! when i ask them to do chores, i get a look, when they sit w us to watch tv, they automatically feel entitled to the remote, etc. now, when any new moms ask me for advice, believe me, i tell them all those things u talked about (except i leave out the "lazy" offense, but i try to sell it as "smart parenting!")

    1. Thanks Nancy! No offense taken! I think it's smart parenting too (although there are a million ways to parent that are smart)--- the "lazy" part is DEFINITELY sarcastic and an ode to all the parenting labels out there ;) thanks for reading!!