Skip to main content

Why I'm Horrified to Have More Children (Tips on Transition from 1 to 2 Children)

Of course I'm writing this 30 weeks into pregnancy #2! Way to look into the future and plan ahead there, gal! And while the title is a little dramatic, I'd be lying if I said I didn't have the thought here and there, on a particularly trying day, of "what the hell am I getting myself into?"

Now, I LOVE my daughter. I absolutely love her from head to toe. She is 19 months worth of spunk, sass and independence. She is to the point to where we are both sleeping through the night with the exception of sickness or teething episodes, she has moved her wake up time from 5:45 AM (seriously?) to a more reasonable time of 7-7:45 AM, and she has several words under her belt to help communicate what her baby self must have now. We are still working on things like not hitting mommy, patience, and not power struggling me during every single activity from diaper change to meal time.

I do work part-time, which I have come to stress about increasingly as my pregnancy belly grows and my daughter spends more time at daycare. I work, then I get my daughter, and after her bed time I really don't have the energy to do much but lay on the couch and watch Property Brothers. Thankfully, my husbands cooks on most nights or else we would all starve.<---- this is the truest statement of ALL. Major shout out to my husband, who starts his day at 4:45 and come home (often times 12-14 hours later) to a hungry/grumpy household, BLESS him.

But I'm making it. And now we're throwing another kid into the mix?!?!?! Yes, we are. and yes, I will make it. And, yes, we are incredibly thankful. Like my parents (and others) have reminded me several times before, people have been having babies and raising kids for centuries. Often in worse circumstances than you! You can do it!

Part two of why I'm slightly horrified: Not only am I going from one child to two children, but I am transitioning from part-time working mom to full-time stay-at-home mom. Oh.My.GOD. My hat continually goes off to you, SAHM, for I truly, honest to G-O-D, believe with every ounce of my being that stay-at-home parents of young children have the HARDEST job of all. So, that is also part of my horror, the unknown of how I will actually be able to handle (mentally and physically) the hardest job on the planet, being the sole caretaker of my little minions for most of each day.

So, what did I do? I reached out to my social networks of mamas and asked them what the heck I should do and how I should plan for my transition from 1 to 2 kids. I got a lot of great information, but here are the tips I felt are going to be most helpful for me.

1) The first few months are hell, don't try to plan too much and don't try to do too much. I think this is universal with the first couple months of any newborn baby situation, only this time you also have another child to take care of too. But let's not forget that new babies sleep like..... most of the time, so I keep that thought in my back pocket when I start to think about it getting hard. Go into things knowing that the laundry may go undone, and the house may be a mess. There is just only so much you can do.

2) Invest in a good carrier, sling or wrap for the new baby, so you can be on the move and have both hands available while he/she sleeps. I personally love my Beco Gemini for the slightly older newbie, but mamas out there recommended wraps or slings that can be used straight away with a little newborn like the Sakura Bloom or Moby wrap. Just be mindful that you are using the wrap/sling correctly with the little newbie ensuring that he/she can breathe just fine!

3) Let the older kid dictate the "schedule." This is an interesting one, and opposite of what I would think, but it makes sense. The older kid already has a routine going most likely. He/She wakes up at a certain time, snacks, eats and naps at a certain time, and goes to bed at a certain time. Aim to work around that schedule when it comes to the new baby. It might mean more naps "on the go" for the younger one, as well as napping amongst lots of noise and activity, but if your baby tolerates this, then it will be easier on everyone in the long run.

4) Find ways to entertain the older kiddo. If you are previously anti-TV, now might be a good time to find a compromise here, as you will certainly need and appreciate 30-minute chunks of time to feed your new baby. You might see if there is a family member, friend or neighbor who can come over to solely help you with the care of and attention to the older kiddo. Also, plan ahead some short 30-minute activities you can have them safely do while you feed the younger one. More general suggestions include park district classes, mother's day out programs or church programs 2-3 mornings a week to keep your older kiddo busy while you get used to having two kiddos. Also, plan play dates.

5) Help the older sibling practice patience with a baby doll... but not a baby doll for them, a baby doll for YOU! You can get a baby doll, and start practicing having to tell the older child to wait a little while longer while mommy feeds the baby while you pretend to feed the baby... for 20 minutes. It sounds silly but was suggested by several moms who have been there and done that.

6) Get out of the house. With your first child, it might have been a month or so before you felt brave enough to take them out for a walk, go to the store, or run errands. But with another child already in tow, you will find yourself getting out of the house earlier - and WANTING to. After breakfast, pack them into a double stroller like this one (or single stroller and wear the new baby), and go on a walk! Everyone will appreciate the change of scenery and fresh air.

7) Plan out the logistics of just "how" you will get them in/out of car and to/from destinations. Who is going to be put into the car first? where will the second kid be while you get the first kid loaded up? What will you put them in when you get out of car? Stroller? Wrap/sling? Planning ahead and having a game plan will help you know what you need and keep your kiddos safe as well.

and some more general advice on time management as a mom:

8) Look into household chores you can outsource to free up whatever "free" time you will have. I wrote a blog post about this that you can read about here.

9) Invest in a good crock pot and meal plan. There are a ton of great resources out there on Pinterest for make ahead frozen crock pot meals. 

10) In the end, after all is said and done, you will make it work. Because you have no other choice. (I left that one for the last one because it's my favorite. I'm a worrier, and this one helps me worry less.)


  1. Get ready to feel your toothbrush to see if it is wet….so you know whether you brushed your teeth…..mwah.

  2. I was diagnosed as HEPATITIS B carrier in 2013 with fibrosis of the
    liver already present. I started on antiviral medications which
    reduced the viral load initially. After a couple of years the virus
    became resistant. I started on HEPATITIS B Herbal treatment from
    ULTIMATE LIFE CLINIC ( in March, 2020. Their
    treatment totally reversed the virus. I did another blood test after
    the 6 months long treatment and tested negative to the virus. Amazing
    treatment! This treatment is a breakthrough for all HBV carriers.


Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

How to be a Housewife (Without Feeling Like a Slave)

Now, don't get the wrong idea here... I'm not sending a passive aggressive message out there to men (do men even read blogs?) that women hate doing house duties. We love it - right, ladies??? (wink, wink) And I'm not complaining either. (Although I do despise laundry, I love a clean house; so it's a double-edged sword.) One thing I'm BIG on is positive thinking . Sometimes, it is hard to be positive if you are feeling overwhelmed with dishes, laundry, cleaning, cooking... oh yeah... LIVING IN and maintaining a home. So, I thought sharing my thoughts on this topic could maybe help some disgruntled wifeys out there. 1) Don't hate, delegate - I'm a huge fan of starting young with manageable tasks around the home. There are a bunch of lists floating around the interwebs of chore lists for kiddos, and a lot of them are pretty dang silly (one suggests letting a 2-3 year old put dishes away, um no!)  -- but my favorite one is from Kids Activities Blog.  2) B

Maybe It's Just Easier To Be Lonely

As a busy, working and social mom of two young hellions, I am constantly teetering on the balance of completely and utterly (and not fabulously, might I add) losing my sh-word. Man, what a starter. What an intro! Hello, welcome to my blog. My name is Tara, and I’m completely crazy. I use the term “hot mess” way more than socially acceptable; in fact, there are times that I use the phrase, in reference to myself, and I can literally HEAR someone’s thoughts of annoyance in me. But, I digress. But, it’s true! I’m about one bad day away from flipping out hardcore. Part of it is my innate nature to be involved in *everything.* Combine that with my inherent disability to saying “no,” and it’s a recipe for… you guessed it… “hot-mess-ness.” Totally a word I made up and use… a lot. As I look at my planner (that I am obsessed with - who else have to have their lives written down somewhere or else they have NO IDEA what they are supposed to do that day?!), I realize…. “Dang, I am

How Not to Raise an Asshole

Guys, you know how I am. I tell it like I see it. And these days, I see a LOT of two things: asshole adults and asshole kids who will grow up to be asshole adults. Not raising an asshole requires work , so if you aren't interested in some blood, sweat and tears, then close your browser, and don't forget to write a rude comment on your way out. Let me preface this by saying: these suggestions are being made from my professional side, not my parenting side--- let's be real, the verdict is still out on whether my kids will grow up to be assholes or not (just kidding... over my dead body will they be entitled, dependent adults)... but still, the important distinction of point-of-view needs to be mentioned. Here are some ways not to raise an asshole: 1) Teach them how to do stuff. You know how kids don't come with an instruction manual? Well, neither does growing up. Kids learn from example how to do almost everything - show them how to do things! Don't just