Skip to main content

The Strife of the "Part-time" Mom

Let me preface this blog post with the proclamation that YES, the grass is indeed always greener on the other side, and that NO, being a part-time mom isn't better or worse than being a full-time mom or full-time employee. I'm just writing from the standpoint of my life, in which I have my paint brush in a million buckets of paint and am starting to realize that I will never finish my masterpiece. Ok, maybe that is a bit excessive, but any mom who has gone to bed at night feeling like an utter failure at LIFE gets my dramatization.

Let's go back to the beginning. The beginning of my life as a mom, a sleep-deprived blur of trying to do it all but failing miserably, probably because I spent all of my "free time" perusing Pinterest for the best crockpot recipe and posting a trillion pictures of my newborn child on Facebook. I think that is maybe where it all started, this desire, no self expectation, to do it all. With the internet, full of ideas and words and thoughts about what it means to be a mother. But after a month or so of staying at home with my little precious cherub, the pull of my job responsibilities became stronger, and I decided to go back to my job of being a speech-language pathologist "part-time."

"Part-time." I have begun to loathe this word. Because there is really no such thing. Not when it comes to work, not when it comes to family, not when it comes to anything really. But, for the sake of the story, I did return to work part-time, which at the time I thought would give me the best of both worlds. I would get to wear my speech therapist hat half the time and then come home and wear my mommy and wife hat loud and proud. Rinse and repeat every single day. Sounds heavenly.

When you are a part-time employee and a part-time mom, guess what? The job doesn't understand what part-time is, and your family certainly doesn't understand either. This is not a slam to your workplace. It's just that there is always something to be done. It might not matter that "oh, I only work til noon," or "I don't work on Fridays." Because of the nature of my job, I bring a lot of work home with me in the form of report writing, billing, etc. So there is a lot of overlap. This is not a slam to the families either. You can't really tell your 18-month old that mommy has to write this report or take this phone call, so to please sit quietly and entertain yourself.

So enters the struggle. The strife. This mirage of getting to "do it all" really turns into doing a half-ass job at everything, or at least that is how you feel. Your job as a speech therapist is never done, and your job as a mom is certainly never done either, nor will it ever be!

Why am I writing this? Partly, to whine. I had a sick child for the first half of this week who has run me a little ragged, plus I'm 17 weeks pregnant and full of emotion. But also because I feel like the "part-timers" are an under-represented bunch of parents! Stay-at-home-moms (SAHM) have their feelings expressed out there (and rightfully so, you have a tough job), as do I feel moms who work out of the home (WOH) do (also deserved, you have a tough job too). Where are my part-timers at ??

Sometimes I feel like I'm carrying the responsibilities of being both though (a SAHM and a mom who WOH).   

This is not a battle of who has it better (or worse). I hope to not get hate mail from any momma who thinks this post is negatively about them. It. Is. Not. I think all parents have a tremendous load of work on their plate, and we should be celebrating each other instead of tearing each other down. I'm just hoping this resonates with some people out there who feel like I do, regardless of what title you hold in your household.

When you are a "part-time" mom, you still miss out. You might be working during music class on Wednesday or when your kiddo has a Valentine's Day party at school.

When you are a "part-time" mom, you probably don't make the income to justify a housekeeper, so YAY, you get to do that too.

When you are a "part-time" mom, often times work responsibilities disrupt family activities, and vice versa. Let's not forget how quickly that part-time work builds up when you have a sick kid.

When you are a "part-time" mom, it is expected that you have "more time" to do things, when really you have less.

I feel like I'm teetering on the line of being a big, fat, annoying whiner, when really I'm just (unsuccessfully probably) trying to articulate a feeling.

Here's my realization: It's all hard. Every version of parenthood comes with it's unique set of struggles. In my constant search to find the perfect cleaning schedule, an easy "make 30 freezer crockpot meals" plan, and a magical way to keep up with my office work, I've only found that none of that really exists.

And isn't everything that I just wrote, from the perspective of a "part-time" mom, the way that most parents feel anyway? Regardless of how much you are working in the home or out of the home? I think we are all just trying to do our best and giving ourselves a hell of time about it all. Good luck mommas, and dads too, the struggle will get easier. One day... maybe when the kids are graduated from college. :)


Comments

  1. I was diagnosed as HEPATITIS B carrier in 2013 with fibrosis of the
    liver already present. I started on antiviral medications which
    reduced the viral load initially. After a couple of years the virus
    became resistant. I started on HEPATITIS B Herbal treatment from
    ULTIMATE LIFE CLINIC (www.ultimatelifeclinic.com) in March, 2020. Their
    treatment totally reversed the virus. I did another blood test after
    the 6 months long treatment and tested negative to the virus. Amazing
    treatment! This treatment is a breakthrough for all HBV carriers.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

How to be a Housewife (Without Feeling Like a Slave)

Now, don't get the wrong idea here... I'm not sending a passive aggressive message out there to men (do men even read blogs?) that women hate doing house duties. We love it - right, ladies??? (wink, wink) And I'm not complaining either. (Although I do despise laundry, I love a clean house; so it's a double-edged sword.) One thing I'm BIG on is positive thinking . Sometimes, it is hard to be positive if you are feeling overwhelmed with dishes, laundry, cleaning, cooking... oh yeah... LIVING IN and maintaining a home. So, I thought sharing my thoughts on this topic could maybe help some disgruntled wifeys out there. 1) Don't hate, delegate - I'm a huge fan of starting young with manageable tasks around the home. There are a bunch of lists floating around the interwebs of chore lists for kiddos, and a lot of them are pretty dang silly (one suggests letting a 2-3 year old put dishes away, um no!)  -- but my favorite one is from Kids Activities Blog.  2) B

Maybe It's Just Easier To Be Lonely

As a busy, working and social mom of two young hellions, I am constantly teetering on the balance of completely and utterly (and not fabulously, might I add) losing my sh-word. Man, what a starter. What an intro! Hello, welcome to my blog. My name is Tara, and I’m completely crazy. I use the term “hot mess” way more than socially acceptable; in fact, there are times that I use the phrase, in reference to myself, and I can literally HEAR someone’s thoughts of annoyance in me. But, I digress. But, it’s true! I’m about one bad day away from flipping out hardcore. Part of it is my innate nature to be involved in *everything.* Combine that with my inherent disability to saying “no,” and it’s a recipe for… you guessed it… “hot-mess-ness.” Totally a word I made up and use… a lot. As I look at my planner (that I am obsessed with - who else have to have their lives written down somewhere or else they have NO IDEA what they are supposed to do that day?!), I realize…. “Dang, I am

How Not to Raise an Asshole

Guys, you know how I am. I tell it like I see it. And these days, I see a LOT of two things: asshole adults and asshole kids who will grow up to be asshole adults. Not raising an asshole requires work , so if you aren't interested in some blood, sweat and tears, then close your browser, and don't forget to write a rude comment on your way out. Let me preface this by saying: these suggestions are being made from my professional side, not my parenting side--- let's be real, the verdict is still out on whether my kids will grow up to be assholes or not (just kidding... over my dead body will they be entitled, dependent adults)... but still, the important distinction of point-of-view needs to be mentioned. Here are some ways not to raise an asshole: 1) Teach them how to do stuff. You know how kids don't come with an instruction manual? Well, neither does growing up. Kids learn from example how to do almost everything - show them how to do things! Don't just