Wednesday, June 11, 2014

Breaking up with Facebook

Yes, I'm saying it out loud. I have a little problem with my Facebook usage. Specifically with my Facebook consumption, but also with my Facebook production. It's become such a big mess I kind of don't know where to start.

First, let me say that I have always been "social" on the computer. I used to have a Xanga (DON'T look it up...) where I used to blog about my super fun life before I had real responsibilities. I used to sit on AIM and update my profile, fill out questionnaires and put little links in my profile that recorded who clicked on it. I had a myspace and religiously updated my profile picture, background music and layout to perfectly match my mood that week. So, it is clear that I have always had this online presence. In fact, I can say without a doubt that I have social media to thank indirectly for my sweet husband, but that is another story (and no, we did not meet "online," but I did meet his cousin and one of my bffes online via mutual friends).

Second, let me say this.. when someone DOESN'T have a Facebook, in the past I have immediately wondered why. "what?!??! no facebook?!?!? ugh, I bet you that they have a stalker account anyway." No, maybe they don't. Maybe they have enough going on in their real life that they just don't care to be a part of the online social brouhaha going on every second of every day. I am so intrigued by these people. What is their secret!?!?!? (I'm seriously only halfway kidding)

So, why is Facebook different? Well, for a couple of reasons. 1) We now have smart phones. Which means that we can easily access Facebook whenever and wherever we want. 2) EVERYONE is on Facebook. If you don't have a Facebook, you are, in fact, the minority. Businesses are on Facebook. And Facebook is searchable. There might be more reasons Facebook is different, but my brain already hurts trying to figure out all I am wanting to say on this subject.

Here are the problems I have with Facebook:

1) All the crazy news stories. If I wanted to watch the horrific and terrifying and depressing news, I would turn on the TV and do so.
2) All the bandwagons people jump on. I hate Chik-fil-a, I hate Miley Cyrus, I hate Republicans, I love Duck Dynasty, etc etc etc. I hate republicans. I hate democrats. I could go on and on and on.
3) Does anyone else miss the one-on-one, face-to-face, direct communication? Actual phone calls? Actual dates? Purposeful interaction vs. "you posted something and we are friends so I am seeing it." Facebook has reduced the occurrence of these things in my life, at least.
4) It SUCKS your time away. "Hmm, I have 5 minutes before I have to leave the house" turns into "oh crap I'm going to be 15 minutes late now because I have been scrolling through my news feed."
5) It promotes laziness. Yes, yes it does. That might sound dramatic, but it does.
6) Does anyone else feel overloaded by the sheer amount of information (some useful, mostly useless) about other people's lives constantly throughout the day? I know that this sounds rude and bitchy, but I know more about the day-to-day happenings of some people I barely know than I do my own parents. That is just not ok! and it is my fault for depending on Facebook for a large part of my social interaction.
7) I literally start and end my day reading about what about 1000 of my Facebook friends are doing. So basically my life largely involves passively reading about what other people are doing, thinking, saying, eating, whatever.
8) If I didn't have my Facebook crutch, I imagine myself reading more books, writing more blogs, and spending more time enjoying my husband and children. I do those things already, but I could do them MORE.
9) I do not want my children to be technology-dependent, so I need to start setting a better example by not taking my phone with me everywhere I go and posting to Facebook 80 times a day.

I could really go on and on.

What I'm going to do about it:
1) I already said I was breaking up with Facebook, and dammit I meant it! I don't like what I see happening. I'm not going to completely not go on there anymore, but I really feel the need to cut things down drastically.
2) No more waking up first thing and checking my stupid Facebook. It's unhealthy really! Whatever happened to listening to the radio or to music and getting ready. Watching the TV and drinking coffee and making breakfast for my family? I wake up by laying in bed and scrolling through last night's and this morning's breaking Facebook news.
3) No more going to bed checking it either! How about I snuggle with my husband or read the new Jojo Moier book???
4) Maybe I'll just take the app off my phone all together. Then I won't be able to check it constantly.
5) I'm going to pick up some habits that I used to enjoy and make those my go-to activities. These include jogging, crafts, reading and snuggling with my husband.
6) No more phones at the dinner table or on dates! Unless snapping pictures. :)
7) I'm seriously considering getting an old school land line phone so I don't feel the need to have my phone on me at all times.
8) I'm really limiting the posts that I post. I do have a TON of family and friends who I never get to see anymore, so it's hard to do away with these completely, but I will limit my posts to not even daily. I have an email address and a phone number. Hell I even have a guest room if anyone wants to come visit me. I need to stop oversharing.
9) Yes, I am going to still post pictures on Instagram. No I am not replacing one social media outlet for another. On IG you can't post words, only pictures. and the news feed is different. I'm not going to start going crazy on IG though, either.

So, anyways - this is me, breaking up with Facebook. We can still be friends, but it isn't going to be as serious as it has been before. I feel like this has been a long time coming.

7 comments:

  1. Love it. I had my summer camp kids do "one min interviews" today. It was amazing how hard many of them struggled to keep conversation face to face for one minute- with prompts I came up with! Scary.

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    1. What's so scary is that I know adults with the same problem Ashley!!! Yikes! Thanks for always reading!! <3

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  2. I too have "broken up" with FB before but it didn't last more than a couple of months but man, it felt GOOD! I felt free and had so much more time to focus on important things. Thanks for helping me see that it's time to break up with FB also!

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    1. I'm so glad I inspired another facebook break up! I don't "hate" facebook.... but I feel like the way we are interacting with one another is changing, and NOT for the better! Thanks for the comment!! <3

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  3. I have also deactivated my account. I was taking a class for my BSN, so I thought I would only do it for 7 weeks but now it has been 11 weeks and I still have not gone back on. I still think "oh this picture is so pretty, I should post this" but then I think no I don't need to be on there! Does anyone really care about my pictures or what I have to say? My family that I see everyday is who I show it to and that's who really cares! I definately have more time to do other things like exercise. In that time I have lost 14 lbs.! That is justification that it really was just a waste of my time siiting in front of that computer!

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  4. When I had my last baby (almost 2 now) I did the classic hospital post. Well, with 3 older kids and new baby, I didn't have time to constantly check it, and when I did it was overwhelming with all the notifications of likes and congrats. So I deactivated it. Go figure, no one called/messaged and only one friend visited (besides family). When the baby started sleeping through the night and I was too, I reactivated my account, and then again, only one person sent me a message asking where I had been and that she was looking for photos!
    Now I'm back in the awful habit and not sure why-it really can consume you.....

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  5. I not only deactivated my FB account, I completely deleted it. Because I was so "hooked" on FB, I didn't even trust myself to just deactivate it....I just knew that I would want to take a peek. It has been the best thing that I've ever done and although it does make me a minority, I embrace sharing with the curious ones how liberating it has been.

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